Oh, how agonizing is it when we find an impending urge to purge our intestinal waste and we find ourselves very far from home! We sit and squirm at our desks, trying to ignore the abdominal and back pain, and finally, we must surrender to the physiological need and go number 2.
So let's say you are in a public restroom. The dream scenario is that you are at a theme park or casino, where the flushes are like small typhoons and it's extremely loud with music and kids running in and out. There you can settle in and go (please see Rocket's piece on How to use a public restroom) and do your doo. Plus, the smells are pre-existing so you can be anonymous with your poo. You can go worry-free.
The real test is in the workplace. Not only will you see these people again, but they know your shoes!!! The best time to go is on a "low traffic" time. Never go BEFORE or DURING lunch, which is between 12 -2 pm.
To minimize noise, you can pad the toilet with toilet paper. It will also minimize on the splash up effect that may sometimes happen (and if it does, you may want to look into what you are eating, poo should not drop like the atom bomb). You can also try to go (if people are coming in and out) in between flushes, water running, doors opening, and when people get their paper towels. You have to work fast though in order to pull this off. It's not for rookies.
Now, sometimes you may have the person who came in to do a number deux too. I am afraid to tell you, if that person doesn't want to leave, you're shit out of luck (pun intended). You have just put yourself in a reluctant STAND-OFF. You can wait it out, but if you don't want your co-workers wondering where you are, just book out of there (wash your hands of course). Chances are, they won't come out until you're gone anyway.
Now you are armed, and if you are modest, carry a small bottle of cheap perfume and douse the place. People prefer the smell of a cheap brothel than what you had for dinner last night. :-)
So let's say you are in a public restroom. The dream scenario is that you are at a theme park or casino, where the flushes are like small typhoons and it's extremely loud with music and kids running in and out. There you can settle in and go (please see Rocket's piece on How to use a public restroom) and do your doo. Plus, the smells are pre-existing so you can be anonymous with your poo. You can go worry-free.
The real test is in the workplace. Not only will you see these people again, but they know your shoes!!! The best time to go is on a "low traffic" time. Never go BEFORE or DURING lunch, which is between 12 -2 pm.
To minimize noise, you can pad the toilet with toilet paper. It will also minimize on the splash up effect that may sometimes happen (and if it does, you may want to look into what you are eating, poo should not drop like the atom bomb). You can also try to go (if people are coming in and out) in between flushes, water running, doors opening, and when people get their paper towels. You have to work fast though in order to pull this off. It's not for rookies.
Now, sometimes you may have the person who came in to do a number deux too. I am afraid to tell you, if that person doesn't want to leave, you're shit out of luck (pun intended). You have just put yourself in a reluctant STAND-OFF. You can wait it out, but if you don't want your co-workers wondering where you are, just book out of there (wash your hands of course). Chances are, they won't come out until you're gone anyway.
Now you are armed, and if you are modest, carry a small bottle of cheap perfume and douse the place. People prefer the smell of a cheap brothel than what you had for dinner last night. :-)
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