Friday, January 26, 2007

Persuade a guy to tell you if he cheated on you


Disclaimer: Please forgive this article for being heterosexist, but I can only speak on how to manipulate men in relationships. I make no claims to know how to manipulate a gay woman, but I am open to suggestion.

This is no easy feat, but if you can do it, consider yourself on par with Aristotle, Plato, and the heavy hitters of rhetoric. First off, if you suspect your boyfriend is cheating on you, it’s really not necessary to have an admission of guilt. But, if you are one of those who cannot make a move until she is positive that he is cheating. Now this is how you should proceed.

First, if you’re going to ask this question, your man has to be in an “open” mood. This would be after sex, relaxing and cuddling, or when he has his “vulnerable” moment. Bear in mind that this mood will change rapidly. The key is to keep your cool. Smile and be understanding. Hold his hand. Use some of the “Tips on Guilt Trips.” But do not, I repeat, not, get snide, pouty, angry, or annoyed. This will close the gate and you will have to wait like a patient stargazer waits for the next great meteor shower.

Next, make him gain your trust. Confide (even if you have to make it up) in him about a time you did something skeevy. He will see that everyone makes mistakes, and it’s ok if he made a mistake. Convince him that you won’t be mad if he admits to it, and that you won’t break up with him. Everyone deserves a second chance, right?
If you’re a good poker player, bluff. Tell him someone you know saw him with another girl. If you act like it’s nothing, and you just want to know who it was, he might admit it. Make sure you give nothing away in your facial expression, and check his. It might work, but it can also backfire, especially if he is adamant and asks what she looks like. Be careful with this one…

Observe body language when you talk about your “friend” who is being cheated on. Does he squirm, avoid eye contact, get “mad” with you about it, change the subject, or display signs of ambivalence? These can all be signs that he is doing it as well. Pay attention to his reaction, and then ask if he would ever or has ever done something like that.

If you have any other tactics to add, please feel free to share.

2 comments:

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